It’s Time to Stop Checking Your Phone
Mindfulness. Awareness of the present moment. It’s everywhere, especially the magazine covers at the new Whole Foods in my city. Ironically, no one sees these magazines because they are head-down on their phones. My friend Greg, a psychologist and mindfulness teacher, calls the smart phone an “anti-mindfulness device.” It’s a barrier between you and the present moment.
Smartphone use is also extremely compulsive. When I have friends over to hang out by the pool they only last a few minutes. “Hey Brendan, do you get signal here.” I smile, “No.” The reply, “Do you have WiFi.” I smile again, “No.” Panic sets in. My friends imagine their manager calling, not getting through, missing the big break.
Being off the grid causes real pain. It’s sad to watch. There’s even a term for it — nomophobia — no mobile phone phobia.
I experience this myself. Even without WiFi, I use an ethernet cable and connect to the internet for most of the day. This morning, I went to start researching for this article and felt a burning desire to check email. I caved. It’s worse when I’m pitching guests for a new season of my podcast. The desire to check for responses takes hold of me.
Constant connection is a big departure from the physical mailbox. Physical mail is checked daily (at most), messages are read, then discarded or filed away. Imagine reading your physical mail then putting it back in your mailbox. Imagine having 3,000 unread messages in your physical mailbox. It’s bizarre, but this is how most people manage their digital inboxes.
Managing your messages is getting harder too. Remember when LinkedIn was for posting your resume and keeping in touch with like-minded professionals? Now it’s a Twitter-like constant feed with red dots alerting you to unread notifications. Gmail added the red dot alert too. I’ve heard seeing this dot causes an increase in cortisol. I wouldn’t be surprised.
As Robert Greene explains in our video interview, we are social animals and we need approval from our tribe. Approval used to come in a smile from a friend, now it’s a like or comment from anyone with an internet connection. Approval drives our use of social media platforms. If Facebook was simply a place to post and read your friends posts, it would be easy to walk away. When Facebook is a place with constant changes in approval indicators (more likes, more views, more comments, more shares), it’s irresistible.
Echo chambers are the best place to get hooked on social media. There’s enormous potential for approval, However,
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” -Mark Twain
Put another way,
“Everything popular is wrong.” -Oscar Wilde
Pause. Reflect. Turn off your alerts. Then come back to reading.
OK. Shiny, digital popularity is so enticing, but does it have any value? It’s actually extremely powerful to niche thyself instead.
“I can’t give you a surefire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” -Herbert Bayward Swope
In the long run, I’ve found that letting go of checking my YouTube views, etc. allows me time to practice things I deeply enjoy.
Putting down my phone actually sharpens my senses too. It’s like coming out of a submarine and being able to look past the 3 feet immediately in front of you. At first, there is strain, but it gets better.
Putting down your phone could sharpen your worldview too. In my interview with Polar expedition guide, Inge Solheim, we discussed how his time at the poles gives him clarity. He compared it to the Overview Effect experienced by astronauts. I get small doses of this clarity when I trade looking at my little screen for the broad view from my favorite lookout.
Actor Martin Sheen seems to constantly hold this perspective. He’s seen it all. Martin took his stage name, because he struggled to find work as an actor. Now he has a Golden Globe award and star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. We talked about Martin’s perspective in this video interview. When he and I set up the interview he didn’t give me an email address. He said he, “Never figured out the internet.” We scheduled over the phone, a landline.
Does Martin’s low-tech lifestyle hold him back professionally? Last time we spoke he was working on half a dozen major projects, including a Netflix series and a special on PBS.
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’” — Seneca
What if you stopped checking your phone? Would you enjoy your day more? Would you take back your life?