Communicate at High Bandwidth // Digital Minimalism Series

Last night, I signed up for salsa dancing classes at a popular studio in my neighborhood. As I filled out the digital registration on an iPad, the receptionist was shocked when I opted out of email and text message updates. She said that I would miss out on notifications about special events. Then, she remembered that there was an alternative, “You can always check our Instagram for the information.” The receptionist nearly fainted when my dance partner told her I don’t use Instagram.

There’s a myth propagated by people heavily invested in digital communication technologies: If you don’t use our product you are invisible. Gary Vaynerchuk spouts this all the time. He’s also an investor in many of these companies (e.g. Facebook, Tumblr). So, there’s a conflict of interest. Where is the truth?

Are You Invisible?

The thing about human beings is that we all want to feel important, but the sensation that comes from social media Likes is not enough to satiate us. Likes are designed to create a gnawing addiction, not a satisfied fullness. Meaningful in-person conversation is our best bet for feeling important to other people. As Robert Greene explains in The Laws of Human Nature, since birth we’ve developed a concept of self through our mother’s gaze. When we are isolated, we can lose a sense of self. And in solitary confinement a person’s entire personality can disintegrate, leaving them prone to hallucinations.

But being invisible on social media is not the same thing. It sounds scary, because being literally invisible would shake your mind and leave you upset or mentally ill. However, the people I know who are most visible on social media are the worst to associate with in-person. No one feels important or connected around these people. These are the zombies I see walking my neighborhood, eyes glued to screen, thumbs flying over screen. These are the dinner companions who fill every lull with a glance at their notifications.

If the pundits are right, I’d rather be invisible on social media than invisible in real life.

What Can You Do?

We’d like to think we can have it both ways, but this isn’t possible. Every minute you spend thumb typing is a minute not spent being present to your spouse, children, whomever. It’s a zero-sum game.

It’s actually worse than zero-sum because of the attention residue that comes from each quick glance at your phone. When you are engaged in something demanding, say a lively conversation or writing an important document, checking your phone for a few seconds will reduce your powers of concentration for several minutes. We need to gear up our concentration, and breaking to respond to a text kills your momentum.

And who has time for all of that thumb typing anyway? The ubiquity of smartphones makes it feel like we can easily squeeze in a few emails, but that takes forever. A great article by Tim Urban on his blog WaitButWhy.com explains the bandwidth of human communication. It was a huge surprise to see that we are in a constant state of processing messages by the lowest bandwidth possible, thumb typing. A step in the right direction is traditional keyboard typing. Reading and talking on the phone are higher bandwidth still. But the pinnacle is face to face communication. Thumb typing like sacrificing a high speed internet connection to spend your day using dial up. Your productivity is crushed by the limited bandwidth.

Cut the emails. Next time you sign up for a salsa dance class (or bachata if that’s your thing), opt out of the marketing emails. Next time a colleague sends you a poorly written email, skip the five back-and-forth messages necessary to tease it out. Just call them. And whatever you do, avoid long, meandering, thumb typing volleys.

How do you manage all of your messages?